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Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality it is the words that speak boldly of your intentions, and the actions which speak louder than words It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time, year after year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of the power to change the face of things It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism
~Unknown
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In February 2005 my husband of 19 years was diagnosed with
stage 3 Esophageal Cancer. At the time we had been business
partners for 21 years. Fortunately we were best friends and
confided confidently with each other and our children,
family, and friends of our ongoing turbulent journey. During
the 18 months prior to his death we lived life to the
fullest.It was during this time that I realized many of my
best friends had or were going through the same trials that
we were experiencing. Among those that you will read about
is Jeff Burnette. His wife is my best friend of thirty
years. She had led me through this walk step by step with
extreme commaradery. Then there was another best friend that
I have had for fifteen years. We had the kind of friendship
that we would have immediately ran to each other if need be.
Little did we know that her son and my husband would be
treking the same path at the same time. We were unable to go
to each other in person for support so we relied solely on
numerous phone calls. Another person very special to Gary
and I was Jerry Johnson. Our extended family through
marriage. His daughter Joanne was again supportive to us as
we were to her.I became painfully aware that we were
families bound to one another for support and love. This is
our story. Our youngest son was a student at Ringling School
of Art in Sarasota, Fl at the time and was minoring in
photography. He took many photos of Gary in the progressive
stages of his cancer. I have 1 year under my belt, and have
continued and actually grown our insurance business; both
nationally and internationally. My desire is to create the
possibility for other families and cancer patients to have
closure by way of communication through a photo journal of
their loved ones. I believe with an ongoing interactive
effort we can not only ease the journey through creating
conversation as an outlet to enter this place called
"Cancer", but to have a legacy to leave to the friends and
family of a person that is very much loved and supported. To
those individuals that have the amazing miracle of remission
or becoming cancer free, it would still be a success story
for all to read and look at the "Many Faces of Cancer". This
is the project that I am jumpstarting and would love to have
an opportunity to spread this healing bond among the cancer
community.
~Pam Tarr
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If anyone would of told me what I was about to go through
the Holiday season of 2004 I would of laughed them right off
the face of the earth. A parent never thinks that they
will bury their child… Unlike most people our journey was
fast and furious. We had many ups and downs. It began by
thinking our 27 year old son had a sinus infection and then
phenomena. It ends in his death with testicular cancer with
a 98% chance of beating it, and only four months later he
was gone.
Many people have heroes in their lives and I want to share
one of mine with you. Christopher was born with Cerebral
Palsy. He did not use his left side he walked with a limp
and he could not use his left hand. He went to regular
school with his class. He became an eagle scout at 13,
graduated with his Senior class in High School. He earned
his class letter, managed the track and football teams. He
worked between 30-46 hours a week since he was 15 and up
until be became too sick to work. Chris served a Mission in
Houston, Texas for the LDS Church, lived on his own and was
attending college. Upon his death he had underwent 31
surgeries and I want to say he did all of this and much,
much more with a smile on his face and a question of what
can I do to help you out? He would never let anyone know he
has hurting. He walked thousands of miles because he did
not want to put others out or have you think he could not do
something. He grew up knowing he had to buck up and make
lemonade out of lemons.
After many miracles and support, from family and friends I
learned very quickly who was in charged and when the time
comes there are no more miracles and then the test begins.
Little did I know that December after calling and talking to
my best friend Pam that we would both be losing someone we
loved through Cancer? I also did not realize how many
others have had to deal with the BIG C. We had lost several
friends and family members with cancer after three or four
years of going through treatment. But not as fast as
Christopher went.
Chris’s went very quickly and there were many times I wished
I had someplace to turn for support and help in knowing what
to do. Family and friends were great support, however they
were suffering like I was. It has been two years and three
mother’s days without our son. You never get over it you
just get through it and that is what we are doing. We have
gotten involved in this book with Pam; we are doing Cancer
walks and most of all we are serving others.
Christopher we love you part of our heart is with you. You
Built Your Monument.
Love Mom
Jodi Gray
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I Sit here in the quiet of my home thinking what I will
write to describe my journey so far? My journey will start
when I am 18 years old in the fall of 1979. I will be at my
pediatrician’s office & be told I probably have Leukemia!
Later come to find out it will be diagnosed as Stage 4
Hodgkin’s, the BIG Cancer word. I remember thinking this is
not a very nice thing to tell a young girl that just
graduated from high school in the summer of 1979. All I
ever remember is a peace that always was around me telling
me “I’m not through with you, keep going”. I now know it
was God that was always there for me. My Faith has always
been there for me & now it will put me to the test. My 6
months of treatment would last over a year & a half.
Along this journey I would always pray that everything would
be ok. My Grandmother, Marguerite, was my rock. She was
the one to drive me to the doctors, make me take my pills &
put a shower cap on my head full of ice cubes to hopefully
help save my hair! She made me plug along and not give up
hope. I sit back sometime in disbelief that this chapter
even happened in my life at all. This part of my life
defined me as a person & made me who I am today, good or
bad. I am not a quitter & have always refused to see the
glass half empty. I have always known in my heart & soul
that I am here for a purpose & there is a plan for me.
As I advance my journey fast forward many turns will take
place as I am now 45 years old & a single mother of 3
children with the ages of 8, 14 & 20. Along the journey,
there would be a marriage at the young age of 20 which would
end in divorce by 25. During many doctor visits while in my
20’s, the doctors always told me I would probably not have
children. I had always loved children & always dreamed of
being a “Mommy” someday. It would be a few years & I would
meet the love of my life. He had ended a relationship &
would have a son named Michael Anthony. This I thought was
to be the plan for me to be a Mom? Little did I know that
God would also have it in the plans for me to have 3 more
children? I would have another son, Hunter Douglas, a
daughter Hannah Marguerite & Baby Wheeler. Baby Wheeler
would come into our lives on Hunter’s 2nd Birthday & also
leave us to go to Heaven on the same day. This was also
another defining moment in my life. Part of my heart would
be broken. Shortly after this period I would have a
Pacemaker put in. Once again, I did not quit or give up. I
was now a Wife & Mother. I once again had a peace & calm
come over me & always felt things would be ok. God has
always been with me on my darkest days. Through all my
storms of life, somehow the rain always ends and a rainbow
always appears.
The path now would have be single after 18 years of marriage
& time together with the Father of my children & love of my
life. I now know I must hold strong to my Faith. I am
single, 45& the Mother of 3 children. My faith will be
tested again as to my plan & purpose. I now know my plan &
purpose is to be the best I can be. I may not ever run a
marathon, but I will finish the race. I know at the end of
my life, I will hear “good job faithful servant.” I will
finish the race and cross the ultimate finish line. My life
will be determined by not the breaths I take but by the
moments that take my breath away. I know I will leave the
world with 3 wonderful children that are here to make a
difference in the world. I look into their eyes and see the
future.
There are many songs that have always seen me through times
in my life. I think of Baby Wheeler & would he know my name
if he saw me in Heaven. I think of I would have missed the
pain at the end of my marriage but would have not wanted to
miss the dance. I think of the 2 songs of lifting me up so
I can climb on mountains & to walk by my faith even when I
can not see. I think of praying even when things do not
turn out like I think they should. I still pray.
Driving in the car the other day, Hannah said it best to me-
“Mommy those doctors were really silly when they said you
would not have babies & you had 4. That’s funny”. I know
with God all things are possible.
Don’t give up, keep praying & finish the Race!
Alicia Z. Wheeler
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Gerald Charles JohnSon (Jerry) Born December 27,
1933/Passed On December 29,2005
My dad passed away just days after turning 72. He had
myoblastic leukemia, but his illness and that one brief year
in no way defined the man that was my dad.
My dad was a sailor
He was a fisherman
He was a boat builder
He and his dad built the house I grew up in
He was a policeman
A fireman
A first aider
My dad was an artist
My dad was a loyal, loving friend
My dad loved his wife
Loved his girls
Loved his grandchildren
And as he began to pray, he learned to love his God.
These things defined his life.
Cancer was only 1/72nd of who he was and even during that
short time he would never let it define him.
My dad will never be lost to us. He gave so much of himself
to us, that what was my dad, and what is now me, is blurred
at best. When I do work on my house, I hold his tools in my
hands and use the skills he taught me. “The easiest way to
get a screw to go all the way in the wood without stripping,
is to spit on it.”
Every spring dad would work on the gardens; weeding, feeding
and planting. He and mom would go shopping to pick out the
flowers she wanted. They were very proud of their gardens.
This year my sister, my husband, one of my dad’s adopted
kids and his family, as well as, as many of our children
as could make it, worked on my mom’s gardens. We weeded,
feeded and planted. We did this for mom but we did it for
dad too. He isn’t gone – he is in the grandkids that drove
6 hours and 4hours each way for one day of getting nanny’s
gardens ready.
My dad was all about life.
JoAnne Burt
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How do our journeys compare? Maybe as we sat silent in the
doctors’ office waiting for the doctor to enter the room
with the test results. The question in our minds is
malignant or not. We are trying to be optimistic with so
much pessimism pushing through. The feelings are
indescribable to anyone that has never been there, or done
that. This is basically how each one of our journeys begin.
The pure fact that it is with someone we love that we fight
to overcome this nasty disease called cancer.
Our journey began with a man we called our hero. Jeff
Burnette was a man of great integrity. A man that loved
everyone and everyone loved him. He had a smile and laugh
that was so infectious that if you heard him in a room you
wanted to turn and laugh with him. If he didn’t know anyone
in a gathering of people, he got to know someone before he
left. His children used to say, “Daddy, you need to run for
president, because you know everybody”. You see, he was also
their hero. Jeff Burnette was also a man of great faith. His
love for God filled his soul. You could see in his heart
that he was a true Christian. I truly believe that faith,
prayer, and strength are what help in the fight of this
battle with cancer. I also say, as humbled as we were by all
the love and help from friends and family that this was the
best medicine we had received.
Jeff lost his year long battle with esophageal cancer in
December of 2001. In the book, “Journey, The Many Faces of
Cancer”, you will find that so many people are touched by
this disease called cancer. When touched, we each make this
journey in our lives. Some of us have a wonderful outcome
called remission and some of us lose loved ones. I believe
that this is all part of Gods plan. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) –
To everything there is a season. Yes, we pray and those
prayers are answered. Although our lives are predetermined,
we have people that are placed in our lives to help us along
the way. It could be friends that pray for us, friends who
cry with us and hold us close or just those who make us
laugh instead of crying.
I feel like our bridge of communication through this book
will help someone in some way. The purpose is to give
strength and encouragement to anyone going through this
journey, along with your faith.
May God give you strength though out your journey.
Philippians 4:13
- Jean Pickle Burnette
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I’M WATCHING
We all have a list, of some things we should do
But if time won’t allow it, let me ask this of you
I pray that you will take a look at my list
Answer my prayers, and grant my request
Let me see all my children grow happy and strong
Let them know that they’re loved, even when things go wrong
If I can’t be there with them, even though I want to
Let them know that I’m watching, and I’m watching with you.
Let me give my grandchildren all the gifts of the arts
Music and song, -----along with a true heart
Let them know that I’ll be there, unless I’m unable to
And let know that I’m watching, and I’m watching with you.
For my wife let me hold her, with the warmth of my soul
Let her know that I love her with a love that still grows
But if I can’t be there with her, even though I want to
Let her know that I’m watching, and I’m watching with you.
Yes, I will always be watching and I’ll be watching with you.
Lyrics by Gary M Tarr
Written the evening prior to his cancer surgery
July 5rd, 2005
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